Why Traveling as a Female Rocks (and Why it Sucks)
Today, March 8, is International Women's Day. It is, quite literally, a day to celebrate being a women. I've already received a few Facebook messages congratulating me. As if I had something to do with determining my sex.
Even though I have some mixed feelings on a day celebrating women (I mean, shouldn't we be singing ourselves praises and celebrating our awesomeness EVERY day?), I cannot deny the fact that being a female impacts my life — especially as a traveler.
If the recent #WeGoSolo movement is any indication, female travel is definitely popular and definitely a hot topic right now. Women are traveling solo, with significant others, and in groups all across the world.
So, in honor of the “holiday” today, I thought I would look at some of the reasons why traveling as a female rocks — and also why it kind of sucks sometimes (and yes, some of these ARE tongue-in-cheek, so please don't take me TOO seriously…)
Gender Stereotypes
Yes, they exist, and will likely continue to exist no matter how large of strides women make. Women are supposed to take on certain roles, have certain types of personalities, and be capable (or incapable) of certain things. I'm not saying I agree with these stereotypes, of course, but there's no denying that they are there.
Pro: The positive to these stereotypes? Well, as a solo female traveler, you are much more likely to find a nice person (male OR female) willing to help stow a bag on the train, give you directions, or simply sit and chat for a while. Traveling as a women (and especially solo) often means that people are looking out for you, no matter where you are in the world, and that is encouraging.
Con: The downside, of course, is the reason behind people looking out for you — the fact that women are very often viewed as being weak and incapable and in NEED of looking after. These gender stereotypes can also lead to some uncomfortable situations on the road, such as in cultures where women traveling solo is frowned upon, or in cultures where women are supposed to be wives and not much more. In some extreme cases, women can also be the target of unwanted attention, advances, and even violence simply because of our gender. The fact that women have to be more vigilant than men while traveling kind of sucks.
Body Image/Beauty
This applies to men somewhat, too, but especially to women. Mostly in Western cultures, there is a very clear image of what women should “ideally” look like.
Pro: In countries other than America, body image isn't such an issue. Yes, women are still concerned with diets and their figures, but they are much more comfortable with showing off what they've got (I mean, have you BEEN to a spa in Europe, ladies??). While traveling, therefore, I've found it much easier to embrace the body I have instead of obsessing over the one that I'd like to have. As far as body image goes, travel has given me more confidence — I don't feel pressured to fix my hair or wear tons of makeup or dress up when I'm on the road, which has led to me becoming much more comfortable in my own skin.
Con: Once you start caring less about your appearance and loving your body, you may decide you want to show it off more. This is definitely frowned upon in certain cultures, however, and it can be tricky sometimes to balance your confidence with what is culturally acceptable. Plus, heading back home to where things like wearing makeup, pants, and real shoes are expected could end up being a bit of a culture shock!
Re-Invention of Self
In America especially, there is a clearly defined path that we are supposed to follow (and supposed to WANT to follow) as women. We're supposed to go to school, get married, and then pop out babies.
Pro: When you travel and have your eyes opened to the world, you may realize that the clearly defined path from back home is bullshit. You CAN break away from the pack, and traveling can help you re-invent yourself. Especially if you're moving around frequently and meeting new people all the time, traveling offers up the perfect opportunity to let your guard down and let your true personality shine through. There's nothing stopping you from being the type of woman that YOU want to be on the road, instead of the one that society says you should be.
Con: Is there really a downside to discovering yourself? Well, perhaps. If you change a lot on your travels, there's always the danger that people won't recognize you when you come home. You may have to use your new personality to make new friends when your travels are over, because you very well might have outgrown your old ones.
Sex
Yup, I'm going to talk about it, because it's a part of life and it's often also a part of traveling. (I mean, come on ladies, we all have a fantasy that includes a tryst with a dark and mysterious foreign man, right?)
Pro: I feel like when you're traveling, the people you meet judge you less. You all share a similar outlook on life and sense of adventure — and that adventure often spills over into the bedroom. Go ahead, be a little adventurous when you're traveling (while still being safe, of course!). Kiss that stranger in a bar. Dance with that cute guy whose name you can't pronounce. Perhaps even have that fling with that dark and mysterious foreign man.
Con: We women unfortunately get a raw deal when it comes to sex and traveling. It IS slightly more dangerous for women to sleep around on the road. Along with the possibility of contracting STDs and other nasty things, there's always the big P word. You do NOT want to come home with a baby bump as a souvenir… We women also have to worry about things like birth control and menstrual cycles and other annoying details that can often detract from the overall experience. Which SUCKS.
And of course there's also the possibility of actually falling for that boy at the bar or that mysterious foreign man, which can make goodbyes incredibly painful (because, let's face it, we females ARE usually the ones more at risk for this happening…).
Confidence-building
At the end of the day, I think most of the above things listed lead to one thing: confidence. Which is always sexy on a women if you ask me.
Pro: Travel (and especially solo travel) is great for building confidence in yourself and your ability to survive on your own. You'll become more confident, more self-sufficient, and basically just more badass. You'll challenge yourself, overcome fears, and become a better you. It's one of the BEST things about traveling, in my opinion.
Con: Not gonna lie, though… thanks to those gender stereotypes I mentioned before, it IS sometimes more difficult to find a significant other when you're a confident, empowered women who has seen the world. Which is lame. A lot of men definitely get intimidated by women they see as being more successful than they are, and I speak from experience when I say that being worldly and confident CAN make it tougher to find a mate. (Though, in reality, would awesome women like us really WANT to be with guys who are intimidated by the fact that we've traveled the world and rocked it? Probably not.)
Yes, there are pros AND cons to traveling as a female. But it wouldn't be as exciting or challenging otherwise. And, in my opinion, the pros far outweigh the cons.
So happy International Women's Day, ladies. Keep traveling the world and being awesome.
Can you think of any other reasons why traveling as a female rocks (or sucks)?
And, here are some great products for every female traveler:
Amanda Williams is the award-winning blogger behind A Dangerous Business Travel Blog. She has traveled to more than 60 countries on 6 continents from her home base in Ohio, specializing in experiential and thoughtful travel through the US, Europe, and rest of the world. Amanda only shares tips based on her personal experiences and places she's actually traveled!
I never traveled solo for more than a few days at a time, but I felt local people were indeed more willing to help me than when I traveled with a group. I intend to do more solo travels in the future, because I noticed I tend to get in touch with people more than when traveling as a couple.
It’s true that you’re more likely to meet other travelers when you’re traveling solo – especially other solo travelers!
I can’t believe how many people (men and women) were talking about International Women’s Day this year. I don’t know if I missed it last year but or maybe it’s the travel community talking more about women travelling solo and having the confidence to get out there and see the world.
I definitely think that travelling as a woman is that little bit harder but I agree that people are more willing to help a woman out. A friend of mine fainted in Bangkok a couple of weeks ago and it turned out she was really sick with Dengue fever. A Thai lady who was a complete stranger helped my friend up, took her back to her house and cared for her for 3 days before she was well enough to leave. I don’t think the lady would have taken her in if she were a man.
Wow what a story! But yes, I agree that that might not have happened if she’d been a man.
I noticed a lot more talk about International Women’s Day this year, too. I think it helped that female solo travel is such a hot topic at the moment.
I actually didn’t give much thought to International Women’s Day. I saw all the tweets appear on twitter, but as I had a really busy day on Friday, I have to admit I didn’t stop and think about it’s meaning. Then I saw an image on Facebook. Posted by someone with good intention, I’m sure, who just wanted to wish all the women a happy Women’s Day. The image was an adaptation of the evolution image you often see, of apes growing to humans. In this image, however, you saw a baby rowing up to be a girl, a teenager, a young woman, a young pregnant woman, a woman with a baby, and an old woman.
As if womanhood is automatically linked to motherhood.
As if all we can do, are made to do, is grow up to give birth.
Again, I know this image wasn’t intended this way. But it came over this way. I felt insulted and frustrated because I myself don’t want children. I don’t have anything against motherhood. I just don’t want it for myself. his is an entirely different discussion, but I just wanted to mention it here because I already have to explain myself to everyone when the subject comes on and now I feel like I also have to defend myself on, of all days, International Women’s Day.
I totally understand where you’re coming from, Sophie. Your frustration isn’t unfounded! For all the “strides” we’re supposed to have made as women in this society, I see/hear things all too often that would suggest that we still have a long way to go.
I couldn’t agree more with you, Amanda. Traveling makes us more interesting, worldly, builds confidence and character. It goes for both, though – women and men as well. I can’t picture myself with someone who hasn’t got that curiosity and hunger for the World!
Yes, most of this can definitely apply to men, too!
Great points! I applaud all of you solo travelers! I definitely think women have it a little harder then men when traveling, and I’m often reminded of this when JIm and I are on the road. However, it is no reason to not do it. Travel on!
Women do have a bit of a tougher time, it’s true. But that’s certainly doesn’t stop a lot of us from traveling!!
Fantastic Amanda, I am so happy you addressed all of these feelings and issues women face when traveling. Not that many people talk about it openly, especially the sexy times part lol.
I totally agree, I feel like a lot of guys are afraid of empowered confident women, it’s baffling. Sometimes I feel like I would have a lot more luck in the romance department if I stayed at home and had a more “normal” life, which SUCKS.
Anyways, thanks for this 🙂
TOTALLY agree with you, Liz. I meet guys here in Ohio who are perfectly nice, but they’re clearly intimidated by me and what I’m doing with my life. It REALLY sucks. But I’m not willing to sacrifice doing what I love just so I can have a guy in my life. Who needs ’em!
Glad you liked the post!
I didn’t know it was “International Women’s Day”. I doubt it’s celebrated at all here in Japan where I live.
I found this blog entry really interesting. I’m not a global traveller, but a traveller within Japan.
I’m surprised to hear that people in America don’t care too much about their looks? I was the impression that there are two extreme groups: those who eat too much and are really fat and those who care far too much about their looks?
It’s interesting to see that the idea of “beauty” is different in other cultures!
Here in Japan, being pale, almost white is considered to be very beautiful. Women use creams with whitener and in summer try to avoid the sun as much as possible. Having a tan isn’t considered to be beautiful.
Thanks for sharing your experience and honest opinion! 🙂
No, people in America definitely DO care about their looks! Much moreso than in some other countries I’ve visited. Though you’re right that images of beauty are very different in different cultures!
Well written and well said – especially the sex and falling for someone part. That is SO hard on the road!
It’s a very tricky part of travel, for sure.
This is an interesting reading for me. I am a traveler myself but as part of a couple that’s why I can only imagine how it’s to travel solo for a lady.
A lot of the points you mentioned like the re-Invention of yourself happens to me too, I guess that happens to everybody no matter if traveling solo or not. 🙂
Some of these definitely apply even if you don’t travel solo!
And I forgot to mention that there are a *lot* of solo female travelers in NZ right now. Lots of guys, too, of course. And lots, oddly, of (un?)lucky German guys who seem to be traveling with 2 or 3 women.
Haha random about the German dudes.
Good article. Without being critical, though, I’ll point out that the whole “reinvent yourself and come home a different person” is not a gender specific problem. Happens to me all the time. I’ve ended up with fewer friends, but they’re all adaptable 🙂
And as for the whole “falling for someone” .. It’s certainly happened to me. 🙂
Oh yeah, the re-invention is definitely not gender specific! In fact, pretty much all of these can apply to men as well as women. But, since I’m a female, I can really only write about all of it from my gender’s perspective!
I really like what you said about how with travel you can break away from the pack and reinvent yourself (or at least what society thinks you should be). I have been traveling solo for work all over the U.S for 3 years and it has definitely made me more confident. The Pros definitely out weight the cons. Go Women! lol
The confidence boost you get from traveling really is fantastic, isn’t it? It’s one of the (many) great things to come from travel.
Interesting post! However, I totally agree that it’s a bit weird to have a day celebrating women. It’s kind of patronising!
Yeah, just a tad. Though I know it’s done with good intentions in mind.
I don’t feel patronized and it helps us remember our sisters all over the world where being born female is viewed as a curse. My personal Facebook photo isn’t of me. I changed it to one of Malala, the day she was shot in the head on her school bus at age 15 for advocating for the right of girls to an education in Pakistan.
I’ve met many more solo female travelers in South Africa than males, pairs or couples. I wouldn’t want to be anyone but me. Even met an interesting man at a Backpackers yet nothing more than good conversation happened and that’s just fine.
There definitely are a lot of women traveling solo these days – which I think is awesome!
I had no idea today was International Women’s Day. In some ways I’d like to travel without the gender stereotypes as a woman, but then again there gender stereotypes about men too. I think the most important thing is for women to get out and travel, whether they’re on their own or in a group, and to encourage other women to travel as well.
I totally agree, Alouise!
Great information. I like the matter of fact, direct, tell it like it is approach. This blog gives me confidence to move cross country as I’m planning this summer!