8 Reasons Why You Should Never Go to Wales
When most people (and especially most Americans) plan their first trip to the UK, a handful of destinations usually end up on their itinerary: London, Stonehenge, maybe Oxford, Edinburgh, the Scottish Highlands, and perhaps a hop over to Dublin since it's so close.
I don't know of very many people who add Wales to their first UK itinerary.
In fact, it took me more than five visits to Britain before I finally spent any mentionable amount of time in Wales. Everyone knows about London, and Scotland does a great job of marketing itself to tourists. Wales, on the other hand, largely gets overlooked.
But I get it. Because there are so many reasons why you should never go to Wales.
First, watch this video from Wales:
Why you should never visit Wales*
Reasons why you should probably never plan a trip to Wales include…
1. Castles, castles, castles
Wales has a ridiculous number of castles – over 600 of them, in fact, which leads many people to call the country the “castle capital of the world.” That seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? I mean, does a small country like Wales really need THAT many castles?
Many of them are in ruins now, and a few are UNESCO World Heritage sites. Seems like a lot of upkeep, if you ask me.
And, really, who wants to drive around and see a castle on nearly every hilltop? Doesn't that get old after a while?
2. All the legends
Wales has a lot of legends associated with it and its history, from dragons to magic swords to holy drinking vessels.
The legend of Merlin, for example, was based on the Welsh legends of the wizard Myrddin Wyllt, and many historians argue that King Arthur isn't a myth at all, but instead a real figure from Welsh history (though perhaps not actually a king). There's the mystery surrounding the Nanteos Cup, too, which many believe to be THE Holy Grail.
But c'mon, Wales. No need to be putting fairy tales in peoples heads.
3. Old language
Go home, Wales: your language is drunk.
The Welsh language is an old one – it dates back thousands of years, in fact, and is likely the oldest language in Britain. And yet the language has changed little despite so many millennia passing. It's still ridiculously difficult to speak (well, for us non-Welsh, at least), and don't even bother trying to read signs in Welsh. It's just futile.
This is seriously a place name in Wales:
It means “The Church of Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the Church of Tysilio by the red cave.”
Yes. For real. It's one of the longest place names in the world.
If the place names aren't silly enough, Tolkien also based one of his versions of the Elvish language (Sindarin) on Old Welsh. So yes, it's so strange-sounding and old that it was actually the basis for a made-up fantasy language.
4. The scenery
Wales has all sorts of scenery, from rolling hills (that they call mountains) to crashing coastlines. The roads through some of this scenery are twisting and so narrow that two cars literally can't pass one another. And they're often littered with sheep.
The combination of these two things will probably mean that you'll stop a lot when driving and you'll be late to everything.
And then there are the beaches, which are far too empty and clean compared to ones you'll find elsewhere in Europe. Some have even won awards and stuff, which kind of just makes it feel like Wales is showing off.
5. Adventure sports
People in Wales are a little crazy.
Not only do they do things like surfing and whitewater rafting in frigid mountain water, but they also like to fly down mountainsides on bikes, hurtle over old quarries on zip lines, and even invented a sport that combines swimming, coastal hiking, and cliff jumping in a sport the Welsh have dubbed “coasteering.”
I know of New Zealand as an adventure-crazy country, but Wales may be just as insane when it comes to inventive (and abundant) ways to hurt yourself.
RELATED: 7 Epic Adventures to Have in North Wales
6. Adorable towns
Little Welsh towns – like the ones you'll find in Snowdonia – are unbearably cute. With old stone buildings and cozy low-ceilinged cafes and pubs, it's just too much.
Dial back on the quaintness, Wales. Seriously. You're going to leave people very disappointed when they visit other villages after these.
7. Welsh humbleness
People in wales are far too humble. Whereas in Scotland they are quick to tell you what a town or loch or island is famous for, in Wales you almost have to force it out of the locals.
They also don't like to brag about their famous Welsh residents (like Tom Jones and Roald Dahl) or about cool accomplishments (they built the first traffic suspension bridge) or fun facts (Wales is home to a 4,000 year old tree!).
Stop being so darn sheepish, Wales! (I mean, I know you HAVE lots of sheep, but you don't need to act like them.) A little bragging every once in a while will do you good.
8. Not a lot of tourists
Lastly, since most tourist to the UK go to places like London and Edinburgh, you'll find many parts of Wales virtually devoid of any tourists. You can walk into a pub in many small cities and find only locals speaking Welsh (who will give you a strange look when you start speaking English).
Even the touristy places still feel very quiet.
It's a real shock after visiting so many other parts of the UK where you just find busloads and busloads of tourists.
*I don't hate Wales, folks
To address all the angry people leaving comments on this post… of course I don't actually hate Wales!
In case my snarkiness didn't come through, let me state it plainly: this entire post is written tongue-in-cheek.
These are all reasons why you SHOULD visit Wales. I think Wales is an amazing part of the UK, and I'm frankly baffled over why more people don't visit.
With all the castles, beautiful scenery, outdoor adventure, and the fact that there aren't a ton of tourists, there's really no denying that Wales is a great destination.
I only spent a handful of days in northern Wales, but it was long enough for me to conclude that Wales is very special (and I'm definitely not saying that just because I have a Welsh surname…).
In fact, I think my next trip to the UK might be JUST a trip to Wales!
Who's ready to plan a trip to Wales?
Pin it for later:
*Note: I was a guest of Visit Wales and Visit Britain on this trip, but all opinions – along with replies to all nasty comments left by people who haven't actually read this post – as always, are 100% my own.
Amanda Williams is the award-winning blogger behind A Dangerous Business Travel Blog. She has traveled to more than 60 countries on 6 continents from her home base in Ohio, specializing in experiential and thoughtful travel through the US, Europe, and rest of the world. Amanda only shares tips based on her personal experiences and places she's actually traveled!
I seem to remember a tv show called “Torchwood” set in Wales. Great fun! Made me want to go. Wish it had been on my Scotland-Ireland driving tour my sister and I took in 2010. It was great fun, anyway. My mother was of Welsh extraction—“Powell”…
We are even stupid enough to have a shrine to “Ianto” at Bae Caerdydd
I have been wanting to go to Wales since I learned my Dad’s family was from there. When in the US they moved from the Blue Ridge Mountains to the Great Smokeys and my immediate family lived in the Ozarks.
I like visiting Wales as I used to live there before moving to England. I know most parts and like travelling along the railways and canals as well as the roads and taking a walk.
The Pontcysyllte Aqueduct is an amazing piece of engineering and there are stunning views across most parts.
Whilst there is a handful of people who are anti-English, most of the time this doesn’t enter my mind. I have mixed accents and sound predominantly English in Wales but there is a trace of Welsh when I am in England. I can speak a little Welsh and when I do the look on some of their faces expressing shock is satisfying.
Transport isn’t brilliant but I can get about and void narrow roads generally. Wales has its attractions and its beauty.
Overall, I cannot not visit Wales as it has too much to enjoy.
which part of north wales did you visit? I live in Penllyn!
I spent 5 days traveling around the northern part of Wales, so I went to quite a few places!
Wales is definitely on my bucket list!!
I think your post on why not to go to Wales is brilliant and funny. Nearly my entire ancestry is UK and Western Europe. Wales has been one of my favorites since I read the Merlin (yes, fictional but so much fun) trilogies years ago. Thank you so much for posting – and the pictures!!!
Wow! What is wrong with people??! They can’t understand a joke, sarcasm, tongue in cheek…whatever they’d like to call it! And/or they don’t finish reading before commenting?!
Welcome to the internet. Haha. Thanks for reading all the way through!
One thing you gailed to mention , was the fact that we arr extremely touchy..
Loved it though Owen Williams’ posts on twitter are in the same vein
More power to your elbow
Funny! I had the pleasure of visiting in the 1980’s; one of the true highlights was to observe local rugby-town v town. I never saw athletes put as much passion into their game. Inspiring to this day! Great snapshots of the place, thanks!?
Holy moly! My own ancestry is English, Scottish, Welsh, a tad Irish and Canada (and back from there is more English…) – all these areas. I feel I got lost somehow because I’ve longed to go since I was a small child. The beauty of Wales is astounding and as corny as it sounds, Wales calls to me.
The US being totally uninhabitable now with its horrifying President and his cohorts, I’ve wondered how to go live in another country. I want to live in a new country!! Desperately.
“uninhabitable”…LMAO! If you’re in Toronto look me up-stories that would make you “laugh”. Thanks for the smile!?
Amanda I enjoyed your article on Wales and caught your snarkiness early. It was good and an interesting manner in which to write. Thanks.
Ok, I think you don’t realise how harmful these comments are to us. The language, the castles, the animals, the “fairy tales” as you call them are all apart of our culture and language. We can’t just dial back what makes wales, well wales. Wales doesn’t have a nice history. It’s full of betrayal, guts and gore. Well mostly what the English did to us. So please try to understand why we’re the way we are.
Please try to read the entire article next time. Nothing about this is harmful, as it’s basically just a love letter to Wales.
Loved it … My grandparents are from Wales, and I have been trying to get my wife to go for years, with no luck.
I will send this to her EMAIL ….. she will read it, just so she can tell me why we should not go.
That will teach her.
Ron
Everyone of our American friends, are always welcome to visit all parts of the United Kingdom. We will do our utmost to make you as welcome as we possibly can
The mistake Amanda made, was posting ‘pictures’ – pretty pictures. Obviously someone must have mentioned, that the squiggly lines next to the pictures, was in fact writing, This encourages some people. like Brian – for example – to attempt to write too. A practise well beyond his capability. A few other sorry souls, made a very valiant attempt to ‘read’ those words, and write their own. A practise that shouldn’t be encouraged
It is usually agreed, in English circles, that the people that named the Welsh towns were in fact dyslexic, and suffered from a stammer. We give them 110% for effort, and it mustn’t pass without noting, the tenacity of their fellow Welshman, for sticking with it. They are unique
Amanda mentioned the free roaming sheep – I’ll leave you to look it up for yourself
It would be futile to search for translation books, before your visit. they do not exist – When us English visit Wales, we only take with us a compass
I genuinely hope you all enjoy your visit. it is a wonderous place, with some truly amazing, friendly people – although with a few asylum escapees, that are easily avoided. [see comments below Amanda’s review]
Take care one and all, and have a safe journey
I have to say this… People sick can be really thick!!! Great article. Sounds like my type of place. I just moved it up on my list, just below Reykjavík! Can’t wait to visit once this crazy virus takes a holiday!
Reasons for not coming anywhere near the UK – Just read some of the comments – GOD HELP US
I’m glad you enjoyed your visit Amanda – any other asylums on your agenda ?
Hahaha honestly, these comments mostly just make me laugh! (I delete the truly nasty ones.) I’ll be back to the UK – and even Wales! – one day.
It should be 190 reasons to come to Wales, sheep get in the way it’s called a farm track, perhaps he needs glasses to drive, police check him out, perhaps he drink and drugs when driving, note again police which makes me think he is one of the idiots on shorts so they go after road, sat have should be set on fastest no dirt tracks, if you treat the Welsh with respect they will give back.
This person in my books is a Pollock and can only drive on motorways orA. Roads strangely we have these in Wales. Perhaps this why you have noticed the quite it is the same in Wales, Scotland N Ireland and the blessed virus which is stored in England, I am English live in Wales, we want less pilocks and people with Brains. Has the person noted UK IS THE SAME. THIS IS FROM AN ENLISH MAN
I debated just deleting this slightly nonsensical comment, but it made me laugh, so here we are. First, Brian, I am a woman, not a man. Second, I’m not from the UK. Third, READ THE WHOLE POST you are commenting on before you go on punctuation-less tirades on the internet.
Just out of curiosity Brian – Did you mention something about brains ?