8 Reasons Why You Should Never Go to Wales
When most people (and especially most Americans) plan their first trip to the UK, a handful of destinations usually end up on their itinerary: London, Stonehenge, maybe Oxford, Edinburgh, the Scottish Highlands, and perhaps a hop over to Dublin since it's so close.
I don't know of very many people who add Wales to their first UK itinerary.
In fact, it took me more than five visits to Britain before I finally spent any mentionable amount of time in Wales. Everyone knows about London, and Scotland does a great job of marketing itself to tourists. Wales, on the other hand, largely gets overlooked.
But I get it. Because there are so many reasons why you should never go to Wales.
First, watch this video from Wales:
Why you should never visit Wales*
Reasons why you should probably never plan a trip to Wales include…
1. Castles, castles, castles
Wales has a ridiculous number of castles – over 600 of them, in fact, which leads many people to call the country the “castle capital of the world.” That seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? I mean, does a small country like Wales really need THAT many castles?
Many of them are in ruins now, and a few are UNESCO World Heritage sites. Seems like a lot of upkeep, if you ask me.
And, really, who wants to drive around and see a castle on nearly every hilltop? Doesn't that get old after a while?
2. All the legends
Wales has a lot of legends associated with it and its history, from dragons to magic swords to holy drinking vessels.
The legend of Merlin, for example, was based on the Welsh legends of the wizard Myrddin Wyllt, and many historians argue that King Arthur isn't a myth at all, but instead a real figure from Welsh history (though perhaps not actually a king). There's the mystery surrounding the Nanteos Cup, too, which many believe to be THE Holy Grail.
But c'mon, Wales. No need to be putting fairy tales in peoples heads.
3. Old language
Go home, Wales: your language is drunk.
The Welsh language is an old one – it dates back thousands of years, in fact, and is likely the oldest language in Britain. And yet the language has changed little despite so many millennia passing. It's still ridiculously difficult to speak (well, for us non-Welsh, at least), and don't even bother trying to read signs in Welsh. It's just futile.
This is seriously a place name in Wales:
It means “The Church of Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the Church of Tysilio by the red cave.”
Yes. For real. It's one of the longest place names in the world.
If the place names aren't silly enough, Tolkien also based one of his versions of the Elvish language (Sindarin) on Old Welsh. So yes, it's so strange-sounding and old that it was actually the basis for a made-up fantasy language.
4. The scenery
Wales has all sorts of scenery, from rolling hills (that they call mountains) to crashing coastlines. The roads through some of this scenery are twisting and so narrow that two cars literally can't pass one another. And they're often littered with sheep.
The combination of these two things will probably mean that you'll stop a lot when driving and you'll be late to everything.
And then there are the beaches, which are far too empty and clean compared to ones you'll find elsewhere in Europe. Some have even won awards and stuff, which kind of just makes it feel like Wales is showing off.
5. Adventure sports
People in Wales are a little crazy.
Not only do they do things like surfing and whitewater rafting in frigid mountain water, but they also like to fly down mountainsides on bikes, hurtle over old quarries on zip lines, and even invented a sport that combines swimming, coastal hiking, and cliff jumping in a sport the Welsh have dubbed “coasteering.”
I know of New Zealand as an adventure-crazy country, but Wales may be just as insane when it comes to inventive (and abundant) ways to hurt yourself.
RELATED: 7 Epic Adventures to Have in North Wales
6. Adorable towns
Little Welsh towns – like the ones you'll find in Snowdonia – are unbearably cute. With old stone buildings and cozy low-ceilinged cafes and pubs, it's just too much.
Dial back on the quaintness, Wales. Seriously. You're going to leave people very disappointed when they visit other villages after these.
7. Welsh humbleness
People in wales are far too humble. Whereas in Scotland they are quick to tell you what a town or loch or island is famous for, in Wales you almost have to force it out of the locals.
They also don't like to brag about their famous Welsh residents (like Tom Jones and Roald Dahl) or about cool accomplishments (they built the first traffic suspension bridge) or fun facts (Wales is home to a 4,000 year old tree!).
Stop being so darn sheepish, Wales! (I mean, I know you HAVE lots of sheep, but you don't need to act like them.) A little bragging every once in a while will do you good.
8. Not a lot of tourists
Lastly, since most tourist to the UK go to places like London and Edinburgh, you'll find many parts of Wales virtually devoid of any tourists. You can walk into a pub in many small cities and find only locals speaking Welsh (who will give you a strange look when you start speaking English).
Even the touristy places still feel very quiet.
It's a real shock after visiting so many other parts of the UK where you just find busloads and busloads of tourists.
*I don't hate Wales, folks
To address all the angry people leaving comments on this post… of course I don't actually hate Wales!
In case my snarkiness didn't come through, let me state it plainly: this entire post is written tongue-in-cheek.
These are all reasons why you SHOULD visit Wales. I think Wales is an amazing part of the UK, and I'm frankly baffled over why more people don't visit.
With all the castles, beautiful scenery, outdoor adventure, and the fact that there aren't a ton of tourists, there's really no denying that Wales is a great destination.
I only spent a handful of days in northern Wales, but it was long enough for me to conclude that Wales is very special (and I'm definitely not saying that just because I have a Welsh surname…).
In fact, I think my next trip to the UK might be JUST a trip to Wales!
Who's ready to plan a trip to Wales?
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*Note: I was a guest of Visit Wales and Visit Britain on this trip, but all opinions – along with replies to all nasty comments left by people who haven't actually read this post – as always, are 100% my own.
Amanda Williams is the award-winning blogger behind A Dangerous Business Travel Blog. She has traveled to more than 60 countries on 6 continents from her home base in Ohio, specializing in experiential and thoughtful travel through the US, Europe, and rest of the world. Amanda only shares tips based on her personal experiences and places she's actually traveled!
An American who understands ironic humour…brilliant!
I live in a small town in mid west Wales with giant valleys filled with mountains and waterfalls behined my house and in front of my house I have a long sandy beach its literally paradise
Great article and so happy to read all those great things. I totally agree by the way living just outside of Caernarfon, we are blessed.
I will be visiting a friend in Wales in May of next year.
My Family and I visited WALES, THIS SUMMER. We had an amazing time! We will visit again in the near future
Absolutely Loved your take on Wales!! (Our humor and sarcasm is unmistakably similar!)
Glad you enjoyed your time in Wales! Up north is a beautiful place, especially the national parks such as Snowdonia.
If you do choose to revisit again, I’d strongly suggest a visit to the capital & a bit of sight seeing in the Brecon Beacons national park. It’s a gorgeous bit of countryside with so much to see!
I am due to cross the pond next June to Maryland & also see the Capital which I really look forward to!
Diolch & Iechyd Da!
I just returned from the British Isles. Of course, all my friends asked me what was my favorite place….my answer was Wales. I don’t think I have ever seen any prettier countryside, houses, beaches, and castles that display the beauty each of these behold. I wish I were younger and I would move there in a heartbeat. I hope I get to go back. Wales stole my heart.
What a creative and intelligent piece of writing!
I decided to go to Wales after reading your artical
I live in London
I don’t have a car and don’t prefer to take a flight
Are there buses? Or shuttles
After visiting Wales I 100% agree with you and no one should ever visit here. It is so beautiful and the adventures are so boring one just can’t stand it. Hubby and I are here now and we are loving it!! White water rafting today, canoeing the aqueduct tomorrow, underground caving the next day, and then later next week staying in a castle hotel….what’s not to love about this country! Plus everyone we meet is so nice and welcoming. However it’s not over touristy so I would rather people think they shouldn’t come to visit.
I’m going back to Wales this week and can’t wait for how truly awful it will be. 😉
Hi, Amanda
I chuckled the entire time I read this article. Heading to Wales in October and now I’m looking forward to the trip even more!
Love your sense of humor.
BTW. Blame the computer for the spelling error. (i/e no “oops! un-send” button).
Must be a Welsh decendent. We speak fluent Sarcasm in our home.
You’ve talked me into it!
HEY AMANDA! I Freaking loved this article! It helped me a lot with the destination to take my husband and 26 children next week (Yes I Know big family lol😉) Thank you very much girl 😘